................................Saturday, 6/24/06
My husband bought a motorcycle today.
And you may be thinking... "AND?"
Like, "OK, so what?"
The reason I am even writing this post is because I need to get it off my chest, "it" being the feelings that are haunting me at the moment.
See, my husband left me a year ago. Well, a year and a month ago. I have been paying the mortgage and the utilities and the child care and the miscellaneous bills surrounding the upkeep of this house (exterminator, furnace guy, etc)... all that time. I worked full time all that time.
What was my husband doing? He was doing the occasional job in his field and the rest of the time he was 'doing' real estate. For those of you familiar with the real estate field, you know that this doesn't necessarily mean he was a. bringing in any money or b. working 40 hours a week.
So... for the majority of the time he's been away, he's been doing real estate and not bringing in a heck of a lot of dough. He's been giving me money every month consistently, but he has COMPLAINED about it the whole time. I didn't ask for a certain amount, he started giving me a certain amount, then at one point, he wrangled me somehow to agree to take $100 less...
So I do that. And he still complains. Complains that what he's giving me is 'WAY MORE' than he'd have to if a lawyer told us what he should give me, complains that he doesn't make enough to give me as much as he does, complains that I make more than him (I work more than him, but that's beside the point I guess)... He even goes so far as to call his money to me each month "subsidizing" me... and it's a share of the mortgage and all this crap, when truthfully what he gives me doesn't even cover HALF what I pay for child care, and from what I recall a lawyer told me early on in a free consultation I went to, he'd be responsible for child support AND half of the child care. SO...
Anyway, sometimes I feel sorry for him because he doesn't make much. But then I have to remind myself that he barely did anything from May 05 to April 06. It was in April 06 that he FINALLY took a full time job in his trade. So finally he is bringing in a solid paycheck. Is it as much as mine? Well, no, no it's not. But so???
If it's any consolation, I have more and bigger bills to pay. AND I have the child. AND I have the dog...
Anyway. He was complaining that in addition to the 'too high' child support he was paying, he complained about his $200 car payment and how I don't have a car payment. He has a car payment because during his time away, he decided to trade in his PAID IN FULL Saab for an INFINITI for which not only did he have to take $4500 out of savings as a down payment, he had to sign on for said loan... HIS CHOICE.
So he was mulling over the idea of selling the Infiniti. To save $200 a month.
I thought this was him finally seeing the light. THEN he decided he wouldn't sell it, but would trade it in, hopefully for something for which he wouldn't have to get another loan.
He did find something. He had to pay out $1000, but the loan is gone. Wonderful right? An extra $200 in his pocket every month..
He was going to pick up the car today and he says to me, I saw a motorcycle I like too, I'm thinking of getting it.
AND HE DID.
And get this. The motorcycle was over 6 grand. SIX GRAND. So I said how the heck are you paying for this? And he said he took out a loan.
A LOAN.
He has to take some money out of savings but then he'll only "Only" have a $100 payment. For the next four years.
He sat there and rationalized how he didn't want to sell the Infiniti but he had to and he was going to miss it, so this motorcycle makes him feel good. And it's only $100 a month. And if he was going to rent a motorcycle now and then like he originally planned, it would be so expensive.
I'm amazed. I sit here and I can't believe it. I mean, he can do what he wants. OBVIOUSLY.
But it is making me sad. I am counting pennies. There are things I'd love to do like buy a new mattress or a bench for the yard. I am trying to keep my credit cards down, paid in full. I want to try to save. I have ALL THESE GOD DAMN bills and this horrendous mortgage and the money I put out that's related to my son...
And he gets a new (used) car AND a motorcyle today. And lives to tell the tale.
There's something wrong with this picture.
My husband bought a motorcycle today.
And you may be thinking... "AND?"
Like, "OK, so what?"
The reason I am even writing this post is because I need to get it off my chest, "it" being the feelings that are haunting me at the moment.
See, my husband left me a year ago. Well, a year and a month ago. I have been paying the mortgage and the utilities and the child care and the miscellaneous bills surrounding the upkeep of this house (exterminator, furnace guy, etc)... all that time. I worked full time all that time.
What was my husband doing? He was doing the occasional job in his field and the rest of the time he was 'doing' real estate. For those of you familiar with the real estate field, you know that this doesn't necessarily mean he was a. bringing in any money or b. working 40 hours a week.
So... for the majority of the time he's been away, he's been doing real estate and not bringing in a heck of a lot of dough. He's been giving me money every month consistently, but he has COMPLAINED about it the whole time. I didn't ask for a certain amount, he started giving me a certain amount, then at one point, he wrangled me somehow to agree to take $100 less...
So I do that. And he still complains. Complains that what he's giving me is 'WAY MORE' than he'd have to if a lawyer told us what he should give me, complains that he doesn't make enough to give me as much as he does, complains that I make more than him (I work more than him, but that's beside the point I guess)... He even goes so far as to call his money to me each month "subsidizing" me... and it's a share of the mortgage and all this crap, when truthfully what he gives me doesn't even cover HALF what I pay for child care, and from what I recall a lawyer told me early on in a free consultation I went to, he'd be responsible for child support AND half of the child care. SO...
Anyway, sometimes I feel sorry for him because he doesn't make much. But then I have to remind myself that he barely did anything from May 05 to April 06. It was in April 06 that he FINALLY took a full time job in his trade. So finally he is bringing in a solid paycheck. Is it as much as mine? Well, no, no it's not. But so???
If it's any consolation, I have more and bigger bills to pay. AND I have the child. AND I have the dog...
Anyway. He was complaining that in addition to the 'too high' child support he was paying, he complained about his $200 car payment and how I don't have a car payment. He has a car payment because during his time away, he decided to trade in his PAID IN FULL Saab for an INFINITI for which not only did he have to take $4500 out of savings as a down payment, he had to sign on for said loan... HIS CHOICE.
So he was mulling over the idea of selling the Infiniti. To save $200 a month.
I thought this was him finally seeing the light. THEN he decided he wouldn't sell it, but would trade it in, hopefully for something for which he wouldn't have to get another loan.
He did find something. He had to pay out $1000, but the loan is gone. Wonderful right? An extra $200 in his pocket every month..
He was going to pick up the car today and he says to me, I saw a motorcycle I like too, I'm thinking of getting it.
AND HE DID.
And get this. The motorcycle was over 6 grand. SIX GRAND. So I said how the heck are you paying for this? And he said he took out a loan.
A LOAN.
He has to take some money out of savings but then he'll only "Only" have a $100 payment. For the next four years.
He sat there and rationalized how he didn't want to sell the Infiniti but he had to and he was going to miss it, so this motorcycle makes him feel good. And it's only $100 a month. And if he was going to rent a motorcycle now and then like he originally planned, it would be so expensive.
I'm amazed. I sit here and I can't believe it. I mean, he can do what he wants. OBVIOUSLY.
But it is making me sad. I am counting pennies. There are things I'd love to do like buy a new mattress or a bench for the yard. I am trying to keep my credit cards down, paid in full. I want to try to save. I have ALL THESE GOD DAMN bills and this horrendous mortgage and the money I put out that's related to my son...
And he gets a new (used) car AND a motorcyle today. And lives to tell the tale.
There's something wrong with this picture.
posted by Lu @ 6:01 PM
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