Never The Same Day Twice

Monday, January 30, 2006

Last night, I went to sleep when the boy did at around 8 and slept all the way til 1... at which point I awoke long enough to go shut off the lights outside and in the living room, check the alarm and brush my teeth. Then I went back to sleep, waking again at 6, just long enough to go shut the alarm and put on a light for my mother... Exhausted. Blessed sleep. It is good to sleep for so many hours at a stretch... so many hours, no baby crying and waking you up. It's amazing how it is when a baby is so young. I never realized it would be so bad. It does end...

And now he is a little boy. A little boy with the ability to articulate, to some degree, his opinions and observations about what's going on around him, what he can figure out and understand, what he sees...

He is so cute and wonderful and special. When he is sleeping, I look at his little face and can't believe I made him!!!

Yesterday we went to Mass. He acted up during the sermon and I had to walk to the back with him and he ran around me in big circles about 12 times... excess energy?? We went back to our seat and he was fairly good the rest of the way. The challenging thing is that Mass is so long at my parish! We got out of church, once we had put our coats on and gathered up our stuff, at 12:30! Mass started at 11... See, if I chose to go to another parish, maybe it would be shorter---actually I'm sure it would be shorter. Maybe that would be better for him, at this age. I don't know. Actually, he seems perfectly fine with it, it's me who needs to have more patience with him I guess.

In any event, he recognizes that church as his church, he can point it out when we drive by in that direction, and whenever we leave, he always says "We had a good time at church". SO! I shouldn't be complaining, ha ha!

We went to my parents after church for a short visit. My sister and her husband came over, which I wasn't expecting, but my parents were because they were making dinner for them. I would have stayed too (and gotten to see my niece, whom my boy loves) but Daddy was going to visit, supposedly at 3... So we left at 2:30.

I talked to him before we left and then he said it would be 3:30. Maybe between 3:30 and 4. But I left early anyway because I couldn't risk being at my mom's house when my niece came home because the boy would have been impossible to get into the car then.. It was hard enough getting him to leave as it was. (Bribes of popcorn were made!)

When I got home at 3, the boy had fallen asleep in the carseat and outside, it was pouring rain. So I decided to stay put. I pulled a book out of my knapsack and began to read. I figured Daddy would be showing up shortly and he could help me get boy and all our crap into the house... When I finished reading, I checked my watch and it was 4! I had read an hour! (no surprise there). And the boy had slept an hour! (that was a surprise). And Daddy was no where to be found (no surprise there either)...

I called him and he said he would be around in about 15 minutes. The boy woke up and I got him into the house and our stuff and shut the alarm and settled him down with a TV show and straightened up the house and then Daddy called and said he'd be another 15 minutes...

I guess in the end he came between 4 and 4:30... We ordered pizza and we ate, and then they played and I just kept getting more and more tired. I actually dozed off on the couch when they went downstairs but I kept waking up because it is really drafty on that couch in the front room. I was so cold!

So I made hot chocolate and signed onto the Web for a while. And then they came upstairs and they were so rowdy and I told him to get the boy settled down because it was getting close to bedtime. I was tired and wanted to get into my PJs and I felt uncomfortable and not sure of what to do with myself because it was unusual for him to still be over that late and not be in any kind of rush to leave.

I felt guilty though. Guilty that I wanted to rush him out. You can't win with me I guess. When he is booking for the door, I'm pissed at him because he isn't spending more time with the boy. But when he is in no rush to leave, I'm pissed at him for being in my way. I guess. Which just means it's MY problem I guess. When he is in a rush to leave, it's because he has other plans. When he is in no rush to leave, he has nothing better to do... And I guess that bothers me. Well, I know that bothers me. But what a sourpuss huh???

I can't wait to see my therapist this week. I have so much to talk to her about. I hope we don't get the weather they've been predicting. I don't want to have to cancel because of snow...


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